LASIK part two

warning! if you are considering LASIK this may not be a post you should read.

Did I ever mention that last December I took the plunge and had LASIK done? Well I did. Being close to blind my entire life, I decided it was time to say goodbye to my contacts and glasses.

The procedure? Fast, but very disconcerting and uncomfortable in a mental sort of way. Even with the help of a Valium. After I was done I patted myself on my back for going through with it and thought that I would never have to let someone cut, peel and laser my eyeballs again.

I was wrong.

A few days after my surgery I noticed my right eye was vacillating between 20/20 and not 20/20. After reassurances from the Dr. that everything would be fine, my right eye decided that 20/40 was the way to go. And that is where it has stayed for 4 months. My non-dominant left eye was left to carry the load of seeing things at a distance while my right eye was on holiday. Because of that my eye sight has been a little off. Lucky me. I am in the 1-3% that needs to go in for a touch up to get my right eye back to work.

That was yesterday. People may think that doing it a second time would be easier than the first because I know what to expect. It is the opposite. I know what to expect and it is called disconcerting and uncomfortable. It was not easier. That I promise. The only upside is that they did not have to cut a new flap. They just have to peel back the original one. Sounds fun right?

Here is my interpretation of the event. The Dr. sugarcoats the whole procedure of course. Me? Well I know exactly what to expect - with a little anxiety bordering on hysteria mixed in. Is this story exaggerated a tiny bit? Yes - but just a little. I was on Valium during the process and who knows what that does to your memory.


Dr. LASIK who smelled like a deep fryer: I cannot see the flap while you are under the laser so I need to find it before we go in. Please look at my left ear.

Me: Let me take this long metal poky thing and fish around your eye until I can find the flap. While I am poking please look at my left ear and don't blink. When I find it I will do something funky with it, so your vision looks all messed up. But I won't tell you what I did. Oh and there will be a nurse holding your eyelid up so that you indeed, do not blink.



Dr. LASIK with a mask on: You have an astigmatism. I need to mark it. Please look where my nose should be.

ME: I am going to take yet another long, metal poky thing that somehow can make marks like a Sharpie. I need to color on your eye. Please hold still while you look at where my nose should be.



Dr. LASIK who I cannot see because my flap has been lifted: Can you see that green light? Look at it please. This will just take a few seconds.

Me: Yes I could see that green light until you lifted the flap on my eye. Now all I see are vague colors of red and green. And I know what will take a few seconds. It is called the burning of my eye. On a side note. Do you know what it smells like when they laser your eye? Burning hair. Except it is not hair they are burning.



Dr. LASIK: We are just about done.

Me: I know exactly what you have to do to be done. Lay the flap down and put I don't know how many different kinds of drops in my eye. All I know is that I can feel them dripping down my face into my ear. Oh and my favorite part. Taking some sort of Q-tip and swabbing over my entire eye while I am watching from the inside out.

You know in Toy Story 2 when the old man comes over to fix and clean up Woody? At one point when he starts cleaning him, you as the watcher are all of a sudden looking out from Woody's eyes and you see a Q-tip coming towards his eye and then swabbing over it. Yes that is what I saw - just a little blurrier.

Dr. you better be done fast because I am about ready to lose it - Valium and all.



Dr. LASIK: You are done!

Me: I sit up and stagger out the door to the recovery chair without even a thought of looking back.



Total time? 10 minutes. If that

Did it hurt? Not one bit. They put numbing drops in your eye. It is all mental. And I felt every second.

Is the recovery fast? Very. Within 4-5 hours I was seeing clearly again.

Was it worth it? Yes. No more horrible glasses and contacts.

Would I do it again? Yes.

Now I just pray there will not be a third.

As for surgeries I am not done yet. I have another one scheduled for the end of the week on my hip. But, more of that later.