3 stories about yelling

Story 1
Several months ago I was shopping at The Children's Place when I noticed a family come in with 4 young boys. I was intrigued for the obvious reason - they had lots of boys just like me. I was also pretty impressed that the parents had the courage to bring all of them to the mall and then to try and actually shop. As I was watching the boys I noticed the obvious things - boys running around the store, getting into things they shouldn't, ignoring their parents etc. That was not surprising. This is exactly what my boys do when I take them to stores. Which is why I try very, very hard not to take all four of them when I shop. However I will say that rewarding for good behavior after the shopping trip makes a tremendous difference during the shopping trip. But that is not the point of my rambling.

What surprised me is the parents. As they were shopping in various parts of the store they were continually yelling at each other. Not yelling like they were mad, just yelling things like "HONEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS SHIRT?! NO, I DON'T LIKE IT! FIND SOMETHING ELSE!" At first I couldn't figure this out. Why are they yelling? Are they both hard of hearing? To be honest I was getting a little annoyed listening to them throughout the entire store. I was glad when I finally left.

Story 2
This much I know, my boys have no concept of what a "normal" voice is. They are constantly yelling. Yes, sometimes they are yelling because they are mad but most of the time yelling has somehow replaced a normal voice. When I ask them to just speak in a normal voice they will start whispering. No I didn't say whisper I said just a normal conversational voice. They simply don't understand. I'm confident they think I am asking them to speak Spanish. Needless to say this gets annoying and I can't tell you how many times I have contemplated going out to the garage to get some earplugs. I do understand that they have all learned that if they want to get my attention over the others they have to just talk louder. So they pretty much have shouting matches to see who can shout the loudest and thus get my attention first. Chasey has already figured this out and regularly lets out the loudest ear-splitting scream that he can muster. And it doesn't help that we live in a very loud house. Note to anybody that is ever going to buy a house. Do not buy a house with 2 story vaults. They may look nice and open, but they are terrible to live in.

Story 3
The other day I was working in the kitchen and my boys were trying to get my attention. I can't tell you exactly how many or who, but I do know there were at least several. Of course they were all talking loudly at the same time. As I was talking to them trying to get them to take turns I had this realization. It is not just them shouting, I was shouting too. I was shouting at them telling them to stop shouting. I was an active participant in their, no our, shouting matches. Then I had another even greater and I must say horrifying realization. Those parents at the store probably had no idea they were shouting as well. Which means that if it hasn't already happened yet, I could possibly turn into a public shouter like them. That sends chills down my spine. Time to turn down the volume in my house starting with myself.

A bunch of random pictures

I realized the other day that I hadn't posted any pictures of the goings on at our house this month, so I decided to gather up a bunch of them and post them ever so randomly.



He is such a cutie! I'm not sure who took this. Taylor maybe?


A FHE puzzle night.


Look closely at Taylor. This is a smile that he learned at school. What exactly are they teaching these kids over there? Taylor is um.. not my best natural smiler anyway and this look isn't helping at all. So I say as nicely as possible "Taylor stop smiling like that it makes you look like an idiot." He thinks it is hilarious.

And while I'm on annoying habits of my oldest, here is another one. Taylor also has picked up "lisping" from school. Apparently a bunch of his friends think it is funny to talk this way. Smiling like this and talking with a lisp? C'mon Taylor, this is so not good for your image. Either you have got to find some new friends or come up with something else to do during recess.


I got tired of trying to build and rebuild tents for my boys using blankets tucked between couch cushions. It was a continual source of frustration for myself and the boys. A few days ago after fixing their tent for the umpteenth time I thought to myself Man I wish we had a little play tent to set up for them. That might be a good present for Bennett for his birthday. Wait a minute... we have a tent. It is relatively small. Why wait until March? 15 minutes later it was set up, Owen was playing in it happily and I didn't have to worry about this one falling apart so fast. If possible squint and look at Bennett's face when he came home from school and saw a tent set up in our house. Not a great pix I know, but a funny expression nonetheless.


Taylor ready for a night in the tent. Much better smile Taylor, much better.



I guess Ben Ben and Owen didn't want Chasey to get lonely.


This is a combination of robber, Guitar Hero play. According to Bennett, robbers wear beanies (true), big black glasses, snow boots and gloves. Owen has the Darth Vader mask from our Darth Vader Mr. Potato Head - really called Darth Tater. Owen calls it his "Who-Pa" - the sound that Darth Vader makes when he breathes. He has this thing in his mouth ALL the time.


Robbers also like to carry around cheap, sickly sounding guitars and then pretend to smash them. This particular guitar Owen was lucky enough to get at the white elephant gift exchange at the Kimball family dinner last Sunday. Why do we get all the loud toys?

Bennett: "Owen pretend you are smashing the guitar."
Mom: "Bennett where did you see people smashing guitars?"
Bennett: "Over at Austin's house. He has Guitar Hero." What? Good grief just smash that thing for real so I can pitch it.


Bennett: "Mom! Take a picture of our butts!"

How many times have I told them to say bottom? Probably the same number of times I have fixed their blanket tents.
I really shouldn't be encouraging these kind of pictures.

I know it's cold outside when....

my poor little crab apple tree and my karl forester grass still have snow puffs hanging on for dear life at noon. Isn't it beautiful? Though I would enjoy these pictures a lot more if I hadn't been the one taking them and instead, be looking at them while lounging next to the ocean with the warm sun shinning on my face.

6 months already!

Well 6 months and 12 days to be exact. Time flies so fast!

Some things don't make sense but happen anyway

Last Sunday our Bishop stood up at the beginning of Sacrament meeting and announced that he was getting released the following week and that a new bishop had been called. After I heard that I felt pretty confident that no new bishopric calls were headed our way due to the fact that we are moving into our new home that we are currently building in 5 months and most people in our Ward know this.

I even laughed when Scott came down from his office on Monday afternoon and said that the Stake executive secretary called and we had an appointment the next evening to meet with one of the Stake President's counselors. We are moving in five months, we thought, so maybe it will be a clerk or secretary calling. Fine with me. Scott has done those callings before. I can handle that.

We further surmised that it couldn't possibly be a counselor calling because everyone knows we are moving. And what would be the chances that the newly called bishop would one, decide Scott was his choice, and two, be one of the few remaining members in our Ward that hadn't heard of our moving plans. Really the chances are slim to none.

Just to reassure ourselves a bit more, we took our perfect logic a step further. Even if this newly called bishop wanted Scott, finding out we have only a few months left in the Ward would undoubtedly change his mind. That is hardly enough time to get the chair warmed up for all of the meetings that a calling such as this requires. All we had to do was simply explain our position when the call is extended and we would walk away Scott free (pun intended).

And to further our absolute confidence that we were free and clear we convinced ourselves that since we were meeting with just the Stake President's counselor it must mean a clerk position. Surely the important bishopric counselor callings would only be made by the Stake President himself.

We were wrong.

After the calling of second counselor was extended to Scott, President Dortsch turned to me and wanted to know what I thought about it. I was stunned. It took all my willpower not to blurt out "But we're moving in 5 months." That was the only thing going on in my head at that point. Instead I mumbled something unintelligible and very unconvincingly about if this is where he is needed then.... What had just happened?

President Dortsch then turned to Scott and asked him the same question. I was now waiting for Scott to lower the boom. He did. President Dortsch looked unfazed, asked a few more questions and then said "You are officially called."

So there you have it. It doesn't make any sense, but Scott is now an official member of our newly formed bishopric - for the next 5 months. Multiple times a day I stop and say to myself "This doesn't make any sense, we're moving." It is times like this I have to remember who is really in charge and who is really making the callings.

May I recommend

Several months ago I was talking with a friend about how crazy and sometimes complicated our relationships with others can get. After I got off the phone with her I was thinking about our conversation and I remembered reading a manuscript in college years ago that talked in depth about relationships. The only thing I could remember was the name of the manuscript and that I was fascinated with what the author had written. So I did a little research and found out that the manuscript had been published into a book 6 or 7 years ago. I bought it more out of curiosity than anything. Why had I been so fascinated with it then and will I still be fascinated with it now? I finished it a few weeks ago and it is better than I remembered.

The author gets down to the root cause of why our relations with others sometimes become painful instead of enjoyable. Why we become offended, angry, jealous, guarded and defensive instead of feeling open, loving, generous and peaceful. I think what is amazing about this book is that it addresses all of us "normal" people with our "normal" everyday relationships. Every sentence is full of amazing insight.

The very core of this book talks about how to have a change of heart within ourselves. And now behold I ask of you my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?
If you are like me, you have probably heard this scripture or some variation of it many times. Although this book is written by an LDS man, it is not overtly religious per say, but it has strong undertones of faith and God. He specifically talks about how to achieve this change of heart. How to let go of all the crap and to just be the good person you know you should be and who you actually already are. Have I mentioned this book is deep?

I bet you are wondering why, if this book is so good, you haven't heard of it before. The only thing I can think of is because the concepts and ideas he presents in this book are not popular today. He emphasizes personal responsibility and doing what we honestly believe to be the right thing to do. This book is not full of superficial band-aides that may make us or others feel good temporarily, which is so common in self-help books. It gets to the core issues, which lie within ourselves. I really can't say enough about this book.

A few recommendations if you are thinking about reading this book.

1) This book is not for the faint of heart. Prepare to analyze yourself and try very hard not to analyze other people and their relationships. At the beginning of this book I found myself thinking "Well, so and so definitely has this problem...." But as I continued to read I found myself in every chapter. It is a good thing, if not a little hard to swallow.

2) The first time you read it, read it with someone else. When I first started reading this book I had planned on reading it by myself. But Scott asked me what I was reading, I was excited to tell him about it because it was so fascinating, and we ended up reading it together. It was very helpful for several reasons. This book is pretty deep and at times hard to understand. It was nice to read sections, talk about them with Scott and then talk about how it applies to our respective relationships.

3)Read it a second time by yourself, or at least go back and summarize it. This book has a lot of information and it is easy to forget whole sections.

If anyone does read it, please let me know. I would love to have an online discussion about it. There is a reading group guide in the back that would provide endless material to discuss with others. And who knows, maybe it would stimulate some brain cells that have been dormant from the college years.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book. This was difficult trying to narrow these down.

"Those times when we feel most miserable, offended or angry are invariably the occasions when we’re also most absorbed in ourselves and most anxious or suspicious or fearful or in some other way concerned about ourselves."

"On the underside of all arrogant, self-promoting and manipulative characteristics we will always find a deep lack of confidence that amounts to fear."

"To take up a hard, resentful attitude toward others is to have to live in a resented world, a world full of people who oppose and threaten us. How they are in our eyes is reflective of how we are."

"If we want to know what impact we are having on others, we need only to examine their responses to us."

"Unless we change our heart toward the people we struggle with here and now, we are condemned to struggle with whomever we may find ourselves associated with."