Story 1
Several months ago I was shopping at The Children's Place when I noticed a family come in with 4 young boys. I was intrigued for the obvious reason - they had lots of boys just like me. I was also pretty impressed that the parents had the courage to bring all of them to the mall and then to try and actually shop. As I was watching the boys I noticed the obvious things - boys running around the store, getting into things they shouldn't, ignoring their parents etc. That was not surprising. This is exactly what my boys do when I take them to stores. Which is why I try very, very hard not to take all four of them when I shop. However I will say that rewarding for good behavior after the shopping trip makes a tremendous difference during the shopping trip. But that is not the point of my rambling.
What surprised me is the parents. As they were shopping in various parts of the store they were continually yelling at each other. Not yelling like they were mad, just yelling things like "HONEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS SHIRT?! NO, I DON'T LIKE IT! FIND SOMETHING ELSE!" At first I couldn't figure this out. Why are they yelling? Are they both hard of hearing? To be honest I was getting a little annoyed listening to them throughout the entire store. I was glad when I finally left.
Story 2
This much I know, my boys have no concept of what a "normal" voice is. They are constantly yelling. Yes, sometimes they are yelling because they are mad but most of the time yelling has somehow replaced a normal voice. When I ask them to just speak in a normal voice they will start whispering. No I didn't say whisper I said just a normal conversational voice. They simply don't understand. I'm confident they think I am asking them to speak Spanish. Needless to say this gets annoying and I can't tell you how many times I have contemplated going out to the garage to get some earplugs. I do understand that they have all learned that if they want to get my attention over the others they have to just talk louder. So they pretty much have shouting matches to see who can shout the loudest and thus get my attention first. Chasey has already figured this out and regularly lets out the loudest ear-splitting scream that he can muster. And it doesn't help that we live in a very loud house. Note to anybody that is ever going to buy a house. Do not buy a house with 2 story vaults. They may look nice and open, but they are terrible to live in.
Story 3
The other day I was working in the kitchen and my boys were trying to get my attention. I can't tell you exactly how many or who, but I do know there were at least several. Of course they were all talking loudly at the same time. As I was talking to them trying to get them to take turns I had this realization. It is not just them shouting, I was shouting too. I was shouting at them telling them to stop shouting. I was an active participant in their, no our, shouting matches. Then I had another even greater and I must say horrifying realization. Those parents at the store probably had no idea they were shouting as well. Which means that if it hasn't already happened yet, I could possibly turn into a public shouter like them. That sends chills down my spine. Time to turn down the volume in my house starting with myself.
Monday, January 26, 2009
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6 comments:
AMEN Sister! I know exactly what you are talking about, and it is so embarassing for me to realize I need to set the example and 9 times out of ten I forget and just talk louder to get my point across. I think we should all practice our "indoor voices" as we here call them.
I also hate 2 story ceilings. We have tile under that ceiling and you'd think we could hear each other just fine, but, like you say my boys do not understand what quiet is. It's just "loud" and "louder." Incidentally I think the only thing more obnoxious than public shouters are public cell phone shouters. Like, we're all in on the conversation here...
Your stories about yelling made me laugh. I think we all can relate. Scary to realize you're like someone else you thought was out of control, huh?
Okay so for your next story- how do you get your boys to move or take you seriously with out yelling?
I was watching the Incredibles tonight with my kids. I use to think the family yelled at each other a lot. Watching tonight I just laughed becaue I relate so much wih them.
I'm sure I never yelled at you kids!
(It's really nice to get old and not remember stuff.)
I can often be heard saying things such as: I can hear you just fine... see? I'm right here! Some of my kids have a harder time than others. Then there are the ones that won't speak up, or talk baby-talk when they are trying to explain something.
But I have learned in extended family that we all have communication issues-- things we can all improve on, even as adults. And I do look forward, like your mom, to not remembering SOME of my moments.
Aren't these blogs great, though, so we can remember the good stuff?
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