From good to bad in one phone call

Have you ever had one of those days that starts out just fine only for it to change into an awful day in the blink of an eye? That was my day yesterday and it was all because of one phone call.

The story actually starts two weeks ago when the animal enforcement officer from Saratoga Springs caught our dog Maylee out of our yard. We use a shock collar to keep her in our yard, but I couldn't find it. I let her out in the back to go to the bathroom and I totally forgot about her until I got a knock on the door from the officer asking if I owned a rat terrier. I was very tempted to say "no" but didn't. I called her, she came home and he then proceeded to write me a ticket for "dog at large." Yes, I was guilty.

Fast forward to yesterday. I called the city thinking that I would simply need to pay a reasonable fine for my ticket and it would be done. That was not the case at all. I start talking to the court clerk and she informs me that this ticket is a class b misdemeanor which means I need to go to court in front of the judge and oh by the way your court date is July 18th. "What? Is this some kind of joke?"

At this point Owen decides he wants a glass of milk and starts screaming at me. I lock myself in the bathroom so I can hear what this lady is saying. I tell her that there is no way I can go to court for this ticket because I am having a baby in a few weeks. "Well if you can't attend court and you have a clean record then you can come in, meet with me and pay a $200 fine" she says. "$200 are you kidding me? Clean record? I don't even have a record. I don't even know what a record really is, only that it sounds bad."

So here I am trying to tune out Owen who is screaming and pounding on the door for milk and I'm hearing things like "on probation for 12 months" "on your record" "fine of up to $1700" and "up to 180 days in jail." At this point I am upset and I'm trying desperately not to cry on the phone. One part of my mind doesn't like hearing those scary sounding words and the other part is thinking "This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. My dog was caught outside of our yard - that's it. She wasn't aggressive, she hadn't bit anyone, noone had complained, I'm not a repeat offender etc. Am I hearing this right? This must be some sort of sick joke someone is playing on an emotional pregnant woman."

After I get off the phone I start bawling and I pretty much bawled the rest of the day. I call it the trigger. All of a sudden everything that I had been worrying about lately came to the surface. How am I going to keep this dog in our yard when I am distracted with a newborn? Our backyard is partially fenced but the real problem is that I have boys going in and out of the house from all doors all day long. So it is quite easy for her to slip out for a little free time unnoticed regardless of a fence. The only option is to keep her tied up in the backyard all day and I really don't want to do that. And for some reason that animal control guy patrols all the time!

That then led to me wondering how on earth am I going to keep Owen in the yard and out of mischief with a newborn. Same problem except tying him up isn't an option, neither is a shock collar. This worry was fresh on my mind because that morning he discovered that flushing stuff down the toilet was fun and later on I caught him with his two hands wrist deep in a tub of Vaseline.

Scott agrees with me that this whole thing is completely unreasonable and ridiculous, but unlike me sees the funny side to it. He was kind enough to jokingly call me a felon and let me know when I went down to the Saratoga Springs offices that I could call him and he would come and post bail. He also told me that in a few days he would be able to look me up in the county criminal records. Ha Ha very funny. I so should have had the officer put his name on the ticket instead of mine. Had I known how ridiculous this was going to be I would have!

I guess I somewhat settled down last night, only to get worked up again this morning when I got my court summons in the mail. This afternoon I went into Saratoga Springs to meet with the court clerk. I paid my stupid $200. And now I can proudly say that I have "a record" and I am on probation for the next 12 months. And if my dog doesn't get caught they will be so nice to remove the misdemeanor after 12 months. Give me a break.

Officially Full Term

Today I am 37 weeks pregnant, which means I am officially full term and I could technically "go" at any time. However, last time I checked babies don't do really well following any sort of calendar, they go by their own schedule. So although I am official I have a feeling he is staying put for another few weeks.

That is quite unfortunate because just the past week the really uncomfortable stage has finally hit. I think he is definitely locked and loaded and ready to go so to speak. Gone are the days of getting a decent nights sleep. I alternate between getting up several times a night to go to the bathroom and trying to find a comfortable sleeping position. This takes up most of the night and the few hours that are left are spent actually sleeping. Out of all my pregnancies this one has been the most brutal on my hips. It is quite painful for me to walk....well actually to move at all, and I feel like he has stretched, pushed, pulled and pinched every ligament, muscle and tendon possible. It will be a miracle if everything goes back to normal again.

So for my sake and for a nice "remember when" moment years down the road I think I will list what I am officially done with.

Trying desperately to walk normal in public and failing miserably.
Wearing the same two pairs of exercise pants every day.
Ligament pain in the middle of the night.
A belly that doesn't fit between things like it use to.
Sleepless nights
The scale
Trying to eat healthy and doing a rather poor job.
Waddling and hobbling
People asking how I am feeling - How do you think I feel? Big and Pregnant
Trying to fit into my normal clothes so I can feel somewhat normal and deny the weight that is hanging nicely on my hips and thighs. Not a chance in He** at this point.
Stumbling over everything on the ground because I can't see my feet and I have started shuffling.
Watching my face to see if it has started to fill out. I ask Scott occasionally if my face is getting full and he tells me no. Smart man.
Thinking that the ground is very, very far away.
Struggling mightily to get up off the ground. Talk about feeling like a beached whale.
Sitting like a pregnant person - legs splayed and slightly reclined - definitely unattractive.
Having a shelf to rest my ice cream bowl on.
Dribble stains on all of the maternity shirts.
Having opposite sleeping schedules.
Kicking in very uncomfortable places.
Peeing in a cup.

I really could go on and on, but also for my sake I definitely need to balance out the bad with the good. Despite the uncomfortable nature of pregnancy I have always felt incredibly blessed to be able to bear children. And to be honest, my pregnancies have not been that bad. So here is my list of the wonderful things that I will miss when all is said and done.

Having a new life growing in my body. My body can do that? Wow!
Watching my belly move all over the place and seeing body parts stick out. I can (and do) sit for hours and watch this show.
Getting distracted while reading because my book is bouncing all over the place.
Bennett kissing my belly good night.
Taylor feeling the baby move and saying "That is amazing!" Yes it is - absolutely amazing.
Baby hiccups
Hearing that reassuring heartbeat every time I go to the Dr.
Not having to worry if my stomach is flat.
Being able to actually fit into a bra - Yes, only a few of you will understand.
Having Scott feel and see the baby move and him saying "I can't even possibly imagine how that must feel."
Having him all to myself for nine months.
Feeling very empowered as a woman to deliver a baby, even though I am a wimp and gladly opt for an epi. :)
Feeling the first movements.
Watching the ultrasound in amazement. That is in my body? You would think by now that a baby growing in my body would be matter of fact, but it still amazes me and it always feels a bit surreal.
Buying and washing newborn clothes.
Watching my body change so dramatically.
Hearing those first newborn cries.
The anticipation of wanting to see what he looks like and hold him in my arms.

So the waiting game continues. When will the real fun begin?

seriously, what am I going to do with this child?

Everyday we have this same conversation over and over.

Mom: Owen!
Owen: What?
Mom: What are you doing?
Owen: Nothin'

Nothin' means something and that something is never good. By the time I waddle over to where I heard his voice, the damage is already done.

What has he gotten into this week? This is what I haven't blocked out.

This picture is of him trying on my mascara. He is smart enough to know it is suppose to go on his eyes and he was clever enough to put the lid back on and put it away. Unfortunately he didn't realize that the black on his face would alert me to his mischievous antics.

Dumping out some greasy hair product that he found in our bathroom onto the carpet.

Dumping out a brand new $15 bottle of fluoride onto the carpet.

Dumping out lotion.

Dragging a box over to Scott's toolbox, getting out his screwdrivers, taking them into the backyard to "fixing."

More wall art.

Getting out a bottle of olive oil and dumping it onto the driveway.

Sneaking outside to water my plants. He has figured out how to turn on the hose.

Going over to our neighbor's house only to bring back their rake that they use to clean up their dog's poop.

I'm sure your thinking at this point that this is not Owen's fault I just need to watch him closer. Trust me I say this to myself everyday as well. He is just so dang sneaky and I am just so slow!

I shudder every time I think about what he is going to get into when I have a newborn to distract me.

Seriously, what am I going to do with this child?

the classic toy?

I don't know if a light saber would qualify as a classic toy, but in our house it does. It is one of the few toys that never seems to loose it's appeal. They are always played with and very rarely are they forgotten for more than a day or two. And the best thing about them is that they are cheap and easily replaceable!